This community arose within the Catholic Church, specifically within the Light-Life Movement and the international Catholic marriage movement Equipes Notre-Dame (END). Father Blachnicki is considered its founder. It is a vibrant and, at first glance, interesting community. It evokes the warmth of a home, where the entire family is meant to grow. The entire family, meaning wife, husband, and children. But is this really the case?
At the outset, we read that this movement is not based on the Gospel or Holy Scripture, but on the teachings of the Church—specifically, the Second Vatican Council and the formation principles of the aforementioned movements. In fact, there are no direct references to God or the Bible. The Polish Episcopal Conference issued a document: „Principles of the Domestic Church, the Family Branch of the Light-Life Movement.”
All this sounds great, but does it really apply to entire families? No, it doesn’t. Further on, we read about the obligations of spouses, of a couple wishing to join this community. These responsibilities are numerous. Individual and communal prayer, including with children daily, reading the Holy Scripture, attending prayer circles, going on retreats at least once a year… It really adds up to a lot. Therefore, it takes a lot of time away from family life, together.
Prayer. Individual, as a couple, and as a family. It sounds beautiful. It looks worse. Do we have the right to force a child to pray like this? Do we have the right to force a teenager to pray like this? What are the fruits of such prayer, if a child is forced to do so? There’s no point in explaining anything here; it’s simply a command to pray. Children don’t have to want to pray, and yet they have the right to their own opinion. Where is the respect for the individuality and freedom of choice of children and teenagers? Do I really have to want to pray with my parents at home every day? No. And parents shouldn’t force them.
Monthly meetings. These meetings are supposed to last several hours, 3-4 hours. Couples are supposed to pray, read the Holy Scripture, and talk during these meetings. What about the children? In practice, children are often locked away in a separate room from their parents, or parents have to find care for them during these meetings because there’s no room for them. I remember them saying at the first introductory meeting, when this community was just starting to form in the parish, that children were disruptive, crying, running around, and that they had no right to listen to what the adults were saying. Adults within these communities are also expected to express their parenting struggles, discuss what the children did and didn’t do, and theoretically offer advice on what to do with the children. I don’t like this approach. It takes parents away from their children, limits the time they can spend together. It diminishes the value of children in the family. They have no right to say no, it’s not for me. They don’t even have the right to listen to Bible readings. They have no right to ask questions. They have no opportunity to spend this time with their parents, even though they might need it (even at that moment).
Retreats. Again, forcing them to go on retreats, even 15 days at that. On a different note, parents are forced to pay for them, and their ability to go on vacation with their children is limited (everyone has limited time off work). During retreats, parents are once again separated from their children. Childcare, according to the rules, should be provided for children, and retreats should be age-appropriate. Again, no one asks children/young people for their opinions; they are forced to. Again, they don’t have their parents to themselves, even during their vacation, as they have their own classes. Often, classes take place from morning until lunch, and even after dinner. Children are often simply provided with care, without instruction, by people more or less capable of providing it. All children, regardless of age, are together and are expected to have activities together. This, depending on the age of the children, can be truly difficult to organize. Care is generally provided by volunteers; no one considers their number for the number of children, nor does anyone monitor their performance. Leaving children in their care can be risky; they are not required to have education, qualifications, or anything to care for a group of children. Often, these are people simply close to the church. At monthly meetings, even such care is not provided. Older children are supposed to care for the younger ones, and that’s it.
No one considers the harm that children of parents belonging to this community might suffer. Parents have less time and resources to spend time with their children. Children are often left without proper care: either to themselves or to someone who isn’t necessarily qualified. As a result, children of such couples often grow up refusing to even hear about this community, living far from the church, believing that the church and the community have robbed them of something important: proper attention, parental time, and the opportunity to travel. Perhaps this has led to a lack of understanding, inappropriate treatment from other children, and a lack of appropriate response from adults.